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Are you in pain? Only when I work! JP claiming disability benefits while teaching salsa shows the difficulties in bringing Britain's welfare culture under control

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Wayne Middleton was cleared of benefit fraud after claiming £22,500 in incapacity allowance while working as a salsa teacher

A part-time magistrate who claimed £22,500 in disability benefits while working as  a salsa dance teacher and taking part in a TV reality show has been cleared of benefit fraud.

Wayne Middleton, 48, was found not guilty on two counts of dishonestly making false statements to the Department for Work and Pensions. He stood accused of fraudulently signing paperwork declaring he was medically unfit for work.

Investigators acting on a tip-off discovered he was teaching at least two 45-minute dance classes a week despite claiming to be ‘unable to walk without severe pain’.

He was also filmed abseiling, stilt-walking and skiing on grass on Channel 4’s Coach Trip programme.

Mr Middleton, from Stanton Drew, near Bristol, said his doctor had recommended that he take up dancing to ease the symptoms of fibromyalgia, a long-term condition that causes pain all over the body.

‘I knew I would never be able to be a dancer, so I decided to learn to teach,’ he told the court in North Somerset.

Acquitting him, District Judge Lorraine Morgan said she believed his role as an instructor was ‘passive not active’ and there was no evidence he had been earning a wage from it.

She also accepted that his participation in the TV show had taken ‘exceptional effort’ and ‘came at a price of increased pain and greater restriction on his mobility in the days that followed’.

Judge Morgan added that the magistracy prided itself on being open to anyone of any ability.Certainly, some of Wayne Middleton’s abilities are on display in the Channel 4 programme. You might like to check it out on the 4OD catch-up service, as I did yesterday, purely in the interests of research.

For the uninitiated, Coach Trip is, essentially, a rolling freak show, the worst kind of low-rent, exploitative, derivative TV tat. Think Big Brother on a bus.

It brings together an assortment of drunks, losers, show-offs and tattooed Jade Goody wannabes on a modern-day Jolly Boys’ Outing across Europe. 

Wayne Middleton, from Stanton Drew, near Bristol, first received benefits in 1999 after he twice appealed a decision to reject him. He is pictured above during a dance demonstration

They are put through a series of stage-managed stunts and at the end of each episode one couple is voted off by their fellow passengers.

Wayne and his friend Nigel join the charabanc during series seven, as the odyssey reaches the Czech Republic. Soon Wayne is bouncing around on a pair of high-tech, Blade Runner-style stilts, like Oscar Pistorius warming up for the 400 metres at the Paralympics.

After lunch, it’s off to some underground caves, where Wayne leads an impromptu salsa dancing session, throwing some shapes that would have done Madonna proud on the Blonde Ambition tour.

The following day it’s the Big One as Wayne has to abseil down a 150ft tower. This would be a challenge for anyone, let alone a man racked with the pain of fibromyalgia.

Yet Wayne rises to the task, admittedly only after hoisting his obese frame over the balcony with some difficulty, at one stage becoming wedged in.

‘He can’t get his belly over the edge,’ observes a worried Nigel, as his friend teeters in midair.

Magistrate Wayne Middleton was shown downhill grass skiing during his appearance on Channel 4's Coach Trip in 2011. However, District Judge Morgan said she believed his ability to take part in the activities needed careful planning and had not been without consequences

During Coach Trip, Mr Middleton was filmed abseiling down a 150ft tower, stilt walking, salsa dancing and tumbling head over heels while grass skiing (pictured above). Mr Middleton was found not guilty of two counts of dishonestly making a false statement to obtain payment between 2005 and 2011 

But Wayne is able to laugh it off and eventually descends to earth, betraying no sign of the excruciating discomfort he must be in.

‘Oi just couldn’t get me leg out the window,’ Wayne explains in his broad West Country accent. ‘It was splitting me crotch in half.’

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Undeterred and determined to prove he’s game for anything, Wayne then has a crack at grass skiing. He is filmed hurtling downhill on a pair of extended roller blades before ploughing into what appears to be a foam crash barrier, which sends him base over tip and dumps him on to the ground, skis splayed.

Wayne surfaces with a smile on his face, seemingly unscathed, despite his undignified, ungainly ordeal. What a trouper!

I’ve no idea whether the full footage of Wayne’s adventures in reality TV was shown in court. But you have to admit that it would seem to cast some doubt on whether or not he is incapable of work.

According to the NHS Choices website: ‘Fibromyalgia can cause you to become extremely sensitive to pain all over your body, and you may find that even the slightest touch is painful. 

‘This may be felt throughout your body, but could be worse in particular areas, such as your back or neck. The pain is likely to be continuous, although it may be better or more severe at different times.

‘If you hurt yourself, for example if you stub your toe, you may find that the pain continues for much longer than it normally would.’

You might think it would be unwise for anyone suffering from such a debilitating condition to engage in grass skiing, dancing on stilts or abseiling down a 150ft tower.

Perhaps the Coach Trip took a detour through Lourdes on the way to the Czech Republic.

I’ll probably be accused of ‘fibrophobia’ and inciting hatred against the disabled, but Wayne doesn’t strike me as someone who is medically unfit for work.

I wouldn’t even describe his salsa dancing skills as ‘passive not active’ on the evidence of this film.

This is a man, remember, who was said in court to be ‘unable to walk without severe pain’.

We have to accept the district judge’s decision in this case. No doubt she had sound legal reasons for finding him not guilty.

But it does illustrate the scale of the Government’s difficulties in trying to bring Britain’s welfare culture under control when a man capable of salsa dancing, grass skiing, stilt walking and abseiling on TV is considered incapable of work and entitled to claim benefits.

You couldn’t make it up.

Salsa instructor Wayne Middleton (left) on the Channel 4 show. In 2009, he successfully applied for the position of magistrate at Bristol Magistrates' Court, overseeing and determining the outcome in hundreds of cases

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My favourite story of the week comes from Tain Sheriff Court in the Highlands, where a man offered a novel defence against a charge of drink driving.

Ronald Gell, 64, was arrested when his car clipped a kerb after he had been into the Co-op to buy a bottle of rum.

Gell, of Alness, Ross and Cromarty, refused a breath test and told the police his dog was driving the car. It must have been a Rover.

Ronald Gell offered a novel defence against a charge of drink driving at the Tain Sheriff Court in the Highlands. He refused a breath test and told the police his dog was driving the car

He was jailed for ten months and banned from driving for two years after admitting failing to provide a breath sample and assaulting a WPC.

Staff at the Co-op alerted police because Gell appeared intoxicated.

No one believed his dog was driving. Gell’s solicitor said: ‘My client is bored and needs to realise that enjoyment in life doesn’t always come from a bottle.’

But what if he was telling the truth? Scientists in New Zealand have trained dogs to drive cars. I remember seeing the video a few months ago. And I’m sure Scooby-Doo could drive, too.

The Fiscal was going to confiscate Gell’s car, but relented after an appeal from his wife.

Let’s hope the dog managed to drive her home safely without getting breathalysed.

       ...................................................................................................................................

I was born with a silver spoon

Secondary modern Sixties pop star Sandie Shaw complains that today’s rocksters all went to private schools. Where have the working-class heroes gone?

To tell the truth, rock ’n’ roll has always been more about upward mobility than rebellion. Look at ‘Sir’ Mick Jagger.

The grit in the lyrics had to be added in by their record companies. Take Substitute by The Who, which originally went:

I was born with a silver spoon in  my mouth,

The West Wing of my house  faced east . . .

Johnny Rotten only ever pretended to be a punk. The first take of the Sex Pistols’ biggest hit began:

God Save The Queen,

She’s a lovely human being.

And even Sir William Bragg, of Tolpuddle, had to be persuaded to rewrite his great socialist anthem:

I was a banker,

I was a stockbroker,

I was a barrister,

Between the wars . . .

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When they passed a law banning foxhunting, some of us warned it wouldn’t stop there.

Now there are calls to make pigeon racing illegal. Fishing will be next, mark my words.

Then it will be domestic pets. Lock up your budgies!      ......................................................................................................................................

Mine’s a Kestrel GTX

Eighties super-strength lager Kestrel is making a comeback. It was a lethal, cut-price alternative to Special Brew, every tramp’s beverage of choice.You’d have been better off  drinking Castrol GTX.

With the Government jacking up taxes on wines and spirits, the brewers must think they spotted a gap in the market. Soon the aisles of Lidl will be besieged by hard-up members of the middle class intent on drowning their sorrows.

Worried about keeping up the mortgage payments? The good news is that after a few cans of Kestrel Super you’ll be happy living in a cardboard box.

       ......................................................................................................................................

Spare us the weeping and wailing over the departure of David Miliband for New York. His main legacy? Fortnightly rubbish collections and slop buckets.

Missing you already, Dave . . .






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